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Here’s 9 reviews of Christian family books that help families.
In different sessions of counseling with couples, Lynn and I often recommend books for the counselees to read. The recommendations vary from couple to couple, for the simple reason that each couple has their own needs that may be helped by the information in a book.
Why recommend books?
Attentive reading is a proven way to gather information to be implemented in your life. Humans can grasp ideas through well-written information better than many other instruction methods. God wrote the commandments on stone tablets so they could be read and obeyed (Exodus 24:12, Exodus 31:18). Moses then re-wrote them and wrote all the other words God spoke to him in the Law so the people of Israel could be informed of what God expected (Deuteronomy 31:9-13).
Job wanted his words written in a book (Job 19:23), but Solomon exclaimed that there were a lot of books that were written (Ecclesiastes 12:12) and that studying is wearisome. Here’s another book that I cannot recommend that you read because it’s not available for us, but it is probably the most important book in history: The Book of Life (Revelation 20:11-15).
The perfect book for you
Of course, the perfect book for anyone to read is the Bible, and we always point people to that top resource. Every other book ever written must be measured against that standard.
Books are great resources to recommend, but not all books. Just like any other resource, books are an expression of the people who write them, and when the author is fallen, their book is going to reflect that fallen nature.
Books by Christian authors will also reflect the author’s failings. The books we recommend are not perfect, they are written by fallible humans who may or may not hear from God for each word they write. But each of these books provided some nugget of truth that Lynn and I implemented in our lives.
I will not claim that the books in our list are the absolute best books available for their topics, but these are books that helped the Wickerts in our walk with God as individuals, as a couple, and as parents. Although I can’t say that we read these books in their entirety, I will explain the main truth we garnered from each book and supply links where you can purchase them.
Heres the quick list of nine reviews of Christian family books that helped our family:
The Wickert’s Book List (short version)
- Disciplines of a Godly Man
- The Excellent Wife
- Love & Respect
- Is God in Your Marriage?
- Raising Your Children for Christ
- What the Bible Says about Child Training
- The Strong-Willed Child
- Of Plymouth Plantation
- To Have and To Hold
Books for Individual Christian Family Living
Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes
I led a men’s study through this book years ago, and many of the truths I garnered were single sentences or simple phrases that stuck with me. Here are a few:
“Men, the mere fact of fatherhood has endowed you with terrifying power in the lives of your sons and daughters, because they have an innate, God-given passion for you.”
“Habitual honesty…”
“The true test of a man’s spirituality is not his ability to speak… but rather his ability to bridle his tongue.”
I opened the session on the chapter with that last quote with 30 minutes of silence and only a white board with this quote.
The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
Lynn picked up this book at a home school conference one year. When she read it, there were some definite changes. She said it gave her “encouragement, direction, and clarity for what I was doing at the time as a wife and a mother.”
There is a workbook/study guide for this book, and Stuart Scott wrote a companion book, The Exemplary Husband, a couple years after The Excellent Wife gained popularity. It is also a good book, but ranks below the book on the top of this list.
Books for Marriage
Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
I first heard Dr. Eggerichs on the radio on Dr. Dobson’s “Focus on the Family” broadcast. I don’t remember why I was in the car to hear it in the middle of the day, but when I got back to my office, I drew the diagram he described. I took my drawing home and shared it with Lynn. We discussed it and saw the wisdom of recognizing “the Crazy Cycle”. I didn’t find out until years later that this book existed, because I didn’t hear the whole show.
Every time I explain the crazy cycle to couples, they nod their heads in an understanding way, as if to say, “Yep, that’s us.”
There are some who have issues with some of Eggerich’s lessons, but I believe his distinction between the needs of men and women are biblical and helpful. It’s not unusual for Lynn and I to stop and laugh in the middle of a “discussion” because we just recognized ourselves in “the Crazy Cycle”.
Is God in Your Marriage? by Leo Godzich
We met Leo Godzich when he presented a marriage conference at our church. He and his wife came to present multiple times, and we learned a lot about marriage counseling from them through their National Association of Marriage Enhancement (NAME) ministry.
While the book is full of biblical truth and practical advice, the first line in the book is a statement that changed our perspective:
“God did not make marriage to make you happy. God made marriage to spiritually mature you.”
That opening, along with his clear definition of marriage as a covenant, opened our eyes to a larger vision for our marriage.
Books for Parents
Raising Your Children for Christ by Andrew Murray
Andrew Murray was a Christian author who lived from 1828 to 1917 and wrote many books encouraging Christians to live godly lives. The fact that many of his books are re-published and continue to affect Christians today speaks to the timelessness of his writing. A revised version was also published called Raising Your Child to Love God, which is also very good.
This book was written for Christian parents “who long to have their homes truly consecrated to God” (from his preface).
The greatest lesson I took from this book is Murray’s repeated challenge that if we want our children to love God, we must love Him first. The challenge to raise a godly family began with a challenge to be godly people first:
“Parents must be what they want their children to be.”
This challenge, with biblical examples, teaching, and practical instructions, permeates the book. When I finished reading it, I felt awed by the immensity of parenting, and encouraged that raising godly children CAN BE DONE.
What the Bible Says about Child Training by J. Richard Fugate
Over twenty years ago, we led a small group of parents through a video series that Richard Fugate presented. We were surprised at how many of the parents attending had never considered the Bible as a guidebook for parenting, and it sparked a passion in us to help parents as much as we could.
Two of the concepts we integrated into our own family from this book are related:
- an intentional, loving chastisement process, and
- the importance of using a rod for that chastisement.
Mr. Fugate suggests a step-by-step chastisement process which we modified to fit our families needs. The specific steps weren’t as important as the commitment to follow a consistent process to train and correct our children. It has been a source of joy to watch our children develop their own chastisement processes for their children.
The Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson
Friends who know our sweet, kind, creative middle child are surprised that we bought this book because of her.
Dobson, who wrote Love Must Be Tough and many other books to help families, learned a lot of the concepts in this book from his parents. He was one of the first to point out that a strong will in a child can be a good thing.
The lesson from this book that stood out the most for us as parents is the necessity of accepting your child’s defiant challenge of your leadership… and winning it. It’s not a might-makes-right type of victory, but an expression of proper God-given authority. It means you must stay in the battle as long as it takes to win.
We regularly recommend this book to parents who want to shape their child’s strong will into a force for God’s kingdom.
Books that are not about Family, but are about Families
Of Plymouth Plantation by William Bradford
OK, it’s not an easy read or particularly entertaining, but this historical classic taught us two main lessons (among others):
- Our country’s first European settlers were dedicated Christians who exhibited Christ-likeness in everything so that the generations to come would enjoy God’s blessings;
- One of the main reasons they went through the extreme hardships required to establish a God-centered society was FOR THEIR CHILDREN.
In chapter four, Bradford list the reasons why their congregation decided to settle in America. Their third clear reason was that their children were being led astray by the secular nation (Holland) in which they currently lived. This they found “still more lamentable, and of all sorrows most heavy to be borne…”
The fact that the Puritan pilgrims thought their families worth the utmost sacrifice was both an encouragement and a challenge.
To Have and To Hold by Mary Johnston
This is a long novel, but I have read it aloud over multiple weeks multiple times. My children love it for a number of reasons:
- The godly example of a Christian man who considers his marriage covenant sacred,
- His confused and scared wife who married him only because his home was in the wilderness away from her pursuers,
- The entertaining minister who helped them.
These are all part of a story that includes colonial rusticism, imperial intrigue, high seas swashbuckling, aboriginal attacks, duels of honor, personal spiritual growth, and the growing love of a man and wife.
We recommend this book because it is a great read-aloud resource, and we believe reading to your children is one of the best activities to encourage relationships and foster mental growth. Because it is a long-time favorite, I recently re-read some of our favorite chapters to my 23- and 21-year-old daughters. It can be one of your favorites, too.
That’s our list.
I hope you find these reviews of Christian family books helpful. Of course, there are many more books on our bookshelves that we often recommend to others, including Families from the Beginning and The Story Farm by our favorite author. But these came to the top of our list because we can point to attitudes and truths in our lives that are there because of these books.
By His calling, in His strength,
Dean
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Pop-up scripture references are from the New King James Version (NKJV).
