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Why chores?
“Today’s kids have it so easy! When I was a kid…”
I cringe when I hear or read this kind of comment. Because really, my life as a child was a lot simpler than what my children had to live through, and tons simpler than what my grandchildren will have to live through.
What most people have in mind when they start talking about the easy lives of children is CHORES. I suspect a lot of us “old folks” have an inflated idea of how many chores we did. Except for situations where family dysfunction required a child to play an adult role, the Baby Boomers generally had a healthy level of chores to do.
We think today’s children don’t do any chores, so we feel superior because we had a “hard life”. I disagree. A lot of today’s children regularly do tasks that can be considered “chores”. My concern is more about what they do with their time when they are not doing chores. But that’s another topic.
There is a lot of chatter about whether children should do chores, what type of chores, how many chores, and what chores are age-appropriate. My simple guideline is that children can be asked to do just about anything that is safe for them to do. And by “safe for them to do” I mean anything they can handle physically, intellectually, and emotionally.
I wrote about the benefits of chores in the chapters “Dogs, Ducks and Kids” and “Chores” in The Story Farm.
A primary benefit of teaching a child to do a chore is not the task that is completed, but what the responsibility of the chore teaches the child. So I am going to recommend six chores that children should learn to do without being told or reminded. Some are chores your children will do their whole lives, others may be temporary.
My list of chores children should do without being told
There is nothing special about the number six for this list. Each of the chores listed are rather general, because each child’s abilities and situation are different. Again, the value is not in the task that gets done, but in what that chore teaches the child. Each of these chores should (eventually) be automatic in our children’s lives because the lessons to be learned are valuable.
Long-term chores
1. Clean your room.
This starts with making your bed. But that may be too much for a toddler (yes, toddlers can do chores, too) so they can start by learning to put away their toys. If not one-by-one as they play with them, because a lot of us don’t work that way, but at a certain time each day (not bedtime because we are all too tired).
Cleaning my room has a lot of benefits. Cleaning my room teaches me cause and effect. If my room (or my part of the room) is a mess, it’s probably because I made it that way.
Consistently practiced, cleaning my room teaches me to be responsible for my actions. As I grow and know that I must clean my room, it may encourage me to not be as messy. It may even teach better organization because I want to make the chore as easy as possible.
Orderliness is part of God’s character. The meticulous order of the whole creation shows that His order is consistent. It is evident from the tiniest atom to the farthest galaxy (Psalm 147:4), from the smallest amoeba to the largest whale (Genesis 1:21), from any human’s small toenail to the hairs on his head (Genesis 1:21).
If we are going to portray God’s image, we must have some order in our lives, and it starts with our room.
2. Clean your bathroom.
It’s probably the “yuckiest” chore in the house. Again, find age appropriate divisions of this task for each person that uses the bathroom. The young child probably shouldn’t have to clean the toilet, but they can pick up towels or take out the garbage. The timing of this chore is determined by your household. It may be daily, weekly, or monthly (hopefully not annually).
It’s a good chore to share with the others who use the facility. My daughters sometimes split the tasks in their bathroom, one cleans the toilet and sink while the other tackles the shower and floor. Sometimes their schedules work better if one does the whole bathroom one time, the other does it by herself the next time.
Here’s the lesson: Certain parts of our lives are just yucky, and that’s normal. When we clean our bathroom, it’s an acknowledgment that there’s unclean stuff in our lives, and we have to deal with it. Everybody uses a bathroom to clean their bodies or deposit their waste. It’s actually a place of humility, and cleaning it is a humble job. But it’s important for sanitation and for our health.
God told the Israelites to designate a sanitation site outside the army’s camp. It’s a pretty specific command about doing your duty:
“Also you shall have a place outside the camp, where you may go out; and you shall have an implement among your equipment, and when you sit down outside, you shall dig with it and turn and cover your refuse. For the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and give your enemies over to you; therefore your camp shall be holy, that He may see no unclean thing among you, and turn away from you.” Deuteronomy 23:12-14
3. Help clean after meals
The toddler can carry his sippy cup to the sink. The preschooler can carry his plate and silverware. Older children can rinse the dishes, scrub the cookware, and/or load the dishwasher. The table has to be wiped, clean dishes may need to be put away, and the floor can be swept (unless that’s the dog’s chore, see chore #5 below).
There are a lot of tasks in cleaning the kitchen, and it’s probably best to do it daily. It’s also a great chore to share, especially if you shared the meal. If you’ve eaten the meal and been part making the mess, be part of the clean up.
Teamwork is one of the great lessons of cleaning the kitchen. Some families work together to get it done quickly, often working against the clock for motivation. Others enjoy the conversations while transforming the sink full of dishes from dirty to clean.
Here’s another lesson from consistently cleaning the kitchen: Look for the next task. If someone else is washing dishes, they probably could use someone to rinse or dry. If the dish washing is covered, wipe the table and counters. Can clean dishes or leftovers be put away, does the floor need to be swept?
Because cleaning the kitchen is probably the most regular chore in most households, everybody should learn what is required and be ready to tackle the next task until it is all done.
Clean the dishes is such a common part of life that God uses it as a metaphor for his judgment of Jerusalem:
And I will stretch over Jerusalem the measuring line of Samaria and the plummet of the house of Ahab; I will wipe Jerusalem as one wipes a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down. 2 Kings 21:13
Christ also referred to dish cleaning habits in His rebuke of the Pharisees for their hypocrisy:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.” Matthew 23:25-26
4. Laundry
Everybody gets their clothes dirty. The only exception was Adam and Eve, before they sinned they didn’t wear clothes (Gen 2:25).
After they sinned, Adam and Eve felt the need for clothing (Genesis 3:7). The aprons they made were inadequate, so God made tunics for them (Genesis 3:21). We have been doing laundry ever since.
The laundry process can take days, then you do it again. Everyone can help. Toddlers can carry their clothes to the hamper of the laundry room, older children can fold and put away clothes, and eventually learn to do their own laundry.
Sorting laundry into colors or types is a basic step in teaching discernment and decision making. Picking up something that is lightweight and medium colored requires keen perception. Does it go with the lights or the darks? Should it be washed by hand or laid out flat to dry? Do I have enough like this to justify a “gentles” load? Is this color going to fade, or is there something else that may fade onto this? The decision process can get really complicated.
Most of us in America do our laundry in machines. It’s often the first chore we do that teaches us how to work with mechanical systems. While it is simply pushing buttons or turning dials, the connection between those mechanical commands and clean clothes can give us an appreciation for machines and their usefulness.
Knowing you will be doing laundry also informs your style decisions. Instead of just looking at the clothing tag to check the size, you look at the care instructions to see if it will fit in your laundry style. “Dry Clean Only” can stop a purchase quickly if it’s not part of your laundry routine.
Clothing is a reminder that we are fallen. God expected the people of Israel to come to him with their clothes clean, because He is holy.
Then the Lord said to Moses, “Go to the people and consecrate them today and tomorrow, and let them wash their clothes. Exodus 19:10
Short term chores
These next two chores may not need to be done at your house. They may also be short-term chores, like for a few years rather than for your whole life. There are lessons to be learned from them, so you may need to find other ways to teach them to your children.
5. Pet care
Pets can be a variety of sizes and types. Some require little daily care, like reptiles or fish. Others, like large long-furred dogs or horses, require grooming and exercise along with feeding and waste elimination.
Taking care of a pet teaches us to take responsibility for others. It’s an early introduction to parenting, because the pet relies on our care like a child does. Because we have the pet in confinement, if we don’t take care of them, they will die. The understanding that the life of the pet is dependent on us helps us grow as caregivers.
God created all the animals (Genesis 1:20, 24) and continuously cares for them (Matthew 6:26). He gave them into Man’s care (Genesis 1:28) and later delivered them as Man’s food (Genesis 9:2-3). He detailed their use for sacrifice in Exodus and Leviticus. He even gave specific laws to govern their care and hold men responsible for ill use or neglect (Exodus 21:28-36).
God expects us to care for the animals in our authority because it exercises mercy. Someone who disregards the life of an animal may disregard human life also.
A righteous man regards the life of his animal, But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. Proverbs 12:10
6. Yard or garden work
We don’t all have yards, and the size varies greatly, but learning to tend and keep plants may be done with a flower pot. Yard work, whether mowing grass or weeding flower beds, has to be done outside, which is beneficial. The physical strength built by outside work cannot be replicated in a gym.
Gardening teaches the patience required for long-term results. As I wrote in my blog two weeks ago, gardening can also inspire faith.
Garden or yard work connects our children with nature. It raises awareness of the effects of weather on our efforts, both in the growth of the plants and the planning of the work. It develops appreciation for the beauty and complexity of plant life. Raising food from the ground teaches our children self-reliance.
The agrarian society of Israel was the backdrop for most of the Bible’s lessons. God planted a garden at the end of the creation week (Genesis 2:8) and Jesus often used gardening/farming metaphors to teach spiritual truths. Gardening is a proven method to teach our children to love God.
So encourage your children to embrace their chores as a normal part of life, and help them learn life-long lessons.
By His calling, in His strength,
Dean
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